Pissed off about the Xfinity Series race Konrad had at Homestead-Miami Speedway and looking forward to facing and beating Xander Valentine.

Homestead, Florida. Sunday 23rd March. (Offline)

So, yesterday's race at Homestead-Miami Speedway track was a complete disaster, but this time, it was not the car's fault, unlike in Daytona races I had. It was the fault of some fucking idiot driver who had been having issues with another driver lately, Josh, Bilicki, for doing dodgy shit on track, Kris Wright. The team that hired him must be severely stupid because he did the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I was leading the Xfinity Series race, and he pulled right in front of me and crashed into me. I had to retire from the race because the damage was so severe and couldn't be fixed. Good god, I was mad about the whole situation since I was doing so freaking well.

I didn't feel like talking to anyone after Kris swerved into me to crash me out of the race. That was a pathetic excuse of a driver and worst of all, I couldn't hit him, knowing I'd be suspended from not only NASCAR but also SCW bosses. I couldn't, by contract, hit anyone first. I was sitting in my motorhome, knowing, luckily, I had a race today in the Cup Series.

Heck, I didn't even join the team meeting yesterday because I was so angry with Kris Wright that I couldn't even have a discussion with him because I knew I would do something to that guy that I would regret. I was in my special anger room, which I have in my motorhome, where I have the kick-and-punch bag to let every ounce of my anger out.

Plus, it kind of didn't help that I lost to that son of a bitch Josh Hudson through a screw job at that which he had to get his buddies to win the match for him. Always thought he was a coward. I hadn't seen anyone since I retired from the race, and even then, I wanted to head to my motorhome and cool off.

I felt terrible in the way that Chris Rice told me not to lose my rag about situations, but this was highly valid as I didn't want to see the sight of any driver, let alone an owner. At the end of the day, I know I have to, especially for the Cup Series race later today. After this one, I also did the following three Cup Races to help the team fix their short-track issues. I know I have to face losing a race because of Kris Wright crashing into me while lapping him.

Suddenly, there was a ring on the doorbell as I let every ounce of anger out on the kick and punch pad. I stopped, took my gloves off, wiped the sweat off my face, and went to answer the door. As I opened it, I noticed that it wasn't the usual guest of AJ or any Kaulig driver; it was Chris Rice. Sometimes, if Chris sees any Kaulig driver acting strangely because of what happened in the race or they don't turn up, he goes to check on us drivers. Chris was concerned and sat with me on the living room chair.

Chris Rice: "Hey, you know you're not at fault for yesterday's crash in the Xfinity Series race."

Konrad Raab: "Don't you think I fucking know that?"

Chris Rice: "Look, I know I was a little hard on you at COTA, and you had a valid reason why you walked away and didn't want to see anyone because of what Kris Wright did, but at the same time, you can't just ignore the situation and let it fester."

Konrad Raab: "How else am I meant to cope when I can't hit the guy because I'd get fired from NASCAR and suspended from SCW? I can't do anything but walk away and not want to see anyone. I'm losing my fucking mind."

Of course, Chris didn't know about my situation with my wife, which involved something happening to us both on Wednesday. I prefer not to disclose that information to anyone, even though AJ knows. I know Chris had to tackle a sick dog with Williams lately, who had been fighting pneumonia, and we all had been there to send our regards, with Ty taking his drive in the races at times because of it.

Chris Rice: "I know things have been hard lately, man, with Josh Hudson causing you nothing but hell, then the COTA race, and now this. I sense your frustration, but you can't just go off without having these vital team meetings."

Konrad Raab: "I just didn't feel like talking to anyone about that fucking crash. I have a massive grudge against Kris Wright, and I told you how I still have an ongoing crisis with Jackals now that I know Tommy Valentine is back. I want to rip him apart."

Chris Rice: "Calm down. I understand the frustration of that race, and I understand the frustration of Josh causing you to be pissed off, but you can't act like this when you're the top guy for Xfinity Series in our team."

Konrad Raab: "I know, and I can't get out of my fucking head about it. I'm sorry, but I fly off the handle when I lose my temper. You saw what I'm like with that Atlanta video I did, how it scared everyone."

Even my own anger scares me at times because of how wild I was when I did lose it because I was full of hot air, especially when it came to my racing career. I take a loss in wrestling; it's not a big deal and I can cope with it. Except when I lost in Germany, that hurt quite a bit. But when it came to racing, I never got mad more at a loss than I do here.

Chris Rice: "I can imagine that, and I know Konrad very well; you're taking a lot of anger management therapy sessions. I know you've got new friends around in wrestling, which we won't discuss, but I got to ask you something: Why were you late on Friday?"

Konrad Raab: "I had to take care of things at home. Nothing serious or anything, just something to tackle. That's all I'm going to say."

I was bullshitting to Chris because I didn't want the word to get out about the actual situation with my wife and me that happened on Wednesday, even though it was good news that should be discussed with everyone, but that was more or less something I rather keep to myself. AJ knows the situation as he was there, but I told him not to tell anyone, and he's kept his word since.

Chris Rice: "I completely respect that you don't want to go into more detail about it. But Matt and I have been thinking for some time that while I know you're in anger management and getting help there. But you would benefit from having a guy who can discuss how to control your anger."

Konrad Raab: "Oh great, I'm sick of people telling me I need to calm my anger down, but it's not going to happen. Because my life Chris, I have always been afraid of my anger and parts of me still are, but I refuse to be a fucking robot to please people."

Chris Rice: "No wonder you and AJ get along so well. You both have the same personality, and we do like that. However, your anger is worse than AJ's. I came here to check if you were alright, and it seems I'm glad I did because you needed to talk."

Konrad Raab: "Tell Kris Wright that next time I'm racing him on track, I'm taking his bitch ass out."

Chris Rice: "Well, you can get that chance at Martinsville next week."

Konrad Raab: "I also know I got to face against Xander Valentine next week. About fucking time that I wrestled on Breakdown again, and it was another reason why I was so pissed off. I wanted to wrestle in SCW until the end of this year so badly, and they kept pissing around with the calendar of having shows on a weekend."

It was clear as day that those three weeks off wrestling really killed me, to be honest. I hated to be off that long from the wrestling ring, and the anger I dished out on Josh Hudson wasn't good enough, nor was it enough to let out. Of course, Chris worried about me letting loose on someone in the paddock.

Chris Rice: "Please, next time you're going to take off, let one of us know. Yeah, Kris took you out, and what he did was horrible. Even Christian was pissed off because of the car trouble he had that also wasn't his fault."

Konrad Raab: "I'm just built differently, I guess. I don't shrug things like that off, and I feel this anger because I hid it from the world for too long. I'm not changing shit."

I banged my fist on the table as I wasn't satisfied whatsoever that what Kris did to me was unacceptable and dangerous. Next time Wright does that shit, he will not end up pretty. Heck, I'd buy a wrestling arena and set it up ourselves. Chris got cans of Celsius from the fridge as he knew his way around my kitchen.

Chris Rice: "Can you consider toning yourself down a bit."

Konrad Raab: "I can't as much as I try; the swear words just come out."

Chris Rice: "Anyway, we have to do this team meeting in half an hour. At least you can put all the hurting and punishment onto Xander, the same guy you fought for the title, right?"

Konrad Raab: "Right. Why haven't SCW still given me and Xander a hardcore, no disqualification or even what we wanted in the first place? An inferno match is beyond me."

I shook my head. I wanted that fight with Xander, but SCW never gave me and Xander that chance. Well, I think CHBK wanted that match to happen, but Josh Hudson changed that plan at the last minute, so that couldn't happen anymore. I certainly didn't want another World Title match, as I was perfectly happy with the one I had, despite the loss.

Chris Rice: "Well, you really should talk to people when you're feeling angry, and I think Kris's spotter should've been more aware of you being in the lead instead of bumping and crashing you into the wall like that while you were lapping him."

Konrad Raab: "Yes, for sure. If you don't mind, Chris, please leave me be. I want to punch and kick the bag more here. I see you in half an hour for the team meeting."

Chris nods as I leave him be, and I go straight into the anger room I call it, where I set myself up with the kick-and-punch bag I could do all at once. I put the gloves back on and started punching and kicking the bag nonstop, letting every ounce of anger out that I needed to do after what Kris Wright did to me to affect me getting more points for the championship. Half an hour later, I went into the bedroom, changed into my Kaulig Racing gear and left my motorhome to go straight to the team trailer for team meetings to be discussed.

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Time to rip out the bullshit morals out of you Xander blog. (Online)

“Honestly Xander, your morals stuff you always talk about in your videos is a ton of bullshit because it's not the reason you win matches and I don't believe in morals. How can you be a monster if your showing humidity? Morals are bullshit especially when it's over humidity that limits to what you can actually do in the ring and you have lost your touch on being violent that is. Quite frankly, it's made you become soft as fuck. I mean all that violence you talk about, where is it? Where's the monster Xander gone? Bro, you may have defended the title against me, Hudson and Waylon successfully, but your ass couldn't be violent onto me if your life depended on it.

Bravo you think that Waylon gave you a violent fight more than I did, but I call that bullshit because the fact is he didn't. He couldn't hit you as hard as he did me, and you're only saying that to think I can't be violent towards you. I fucking can you idiotic bitch. The problem is SCW hasn't given us a chance for us to be violent. We've never had a hardcore violent fight because the matches we've had except for the triple threat for the World Title has limited us. You can preach to be the nice guy, but quite frankly from what I've heard, you're not the nice guy you think you are whatsoever. Outside the ring, you're a fucking asshole. I know I'm a piece of shit and you can brag about being on top and winning matches, but Xander, nobody cares anymore.

Most people say you choked me out and you did and part of me is pissed off about that. I was emotional as fuck for quite a while on that loss too because that hurt more than I want to admit, but what I realised is unlike you, I don't need another World Title shot and I'm quite satisfied with that. Having another world title match would take away the special moment I had with the German fans and I did fucking everything to make the match worth while. I even had the PPV be on German TV for free because I paid for all of that, did you not know that? I guess not.

I also don't buy into the paragon of violence stuff you want to preach about because you don't even like hardcore matches. You want to be violent with your fists, but so can I. It's a shame how far Xander has gotten to be a soft bitch because of the morals bullshit due to him wanting to change. I'm not changing because changes are for the weak. Changes are for people who can't think to be more creative to get them to win matches as their selves so they change to think it'll better themselves. Tell me what advantage will I gain on being a remorseful nice guy? Because it won't.

I don't want to change or need to change to be a wrestler; I am Xander. Go ahead, preach about the wins you got over me, I don't give a fuck, and go ahead and allow yourself to be a monster, but we know you being a monster is nothing more than a fraud. You damn right I show no remose for what I do because that's how a real monster operates, not a fraud monster like yourself who shows remose on everything he does. You damn right I show no respect towards you because I rarely ever show respect to my opponents.

Why would you need to hear me appreciating your efforts in the business from me when everyone else says it? I'm not that wrestler and you should know that by now. I went to strike at you with everything I did because asking you to face me for the World Title is a bitch and pussy thing to do. Why ask when as professional wrestlers, you send that message by attacking the champion himself? Asking you for a title match is what bitches do.

So I burned your foot, so you choked me out. Big fucking deal. Big fucking deal you've beaten me, but you know Xander, with how arrogant you are, it's OK you're overlooking me with your bullshit wins you've had over me when I will show you my violence I got in me that you've never seen before since your nickname is bullshit.

Also Josh winning over me was a much bigger bullshit as well because he couldn't beat me on my own. He had to use wrestlers to attack me to get the job done. I give you credit that at least you could beat me on my own but he also had a point, how come that me and Josh have brought in young talent and you haven't? All this how much you respect this business, yet me and Josh seem to have more respect for the business than you do.

The only reason why I'm interested in fighting you is because of your violence and so far on every match we've had, I've had nothing, but disappointment that you made me bleed with your fists. That you never attempted to use weapons. I will never show remorse again because when I did, I got taken advantage of, and I learned from that mistake of not showing remorse to anyone ever again.

Keep on telling everyone you're this big monster who's won matches against everyone you've encountered, keep telling everyone that you had to get me to pass out because of not even realising I was enjoying the pain you were giving me. I will fuck your ass up because your arrogant bragging ass deserves to be all blooded up and I'm going to go out there to the extra length and show you the real meaning of violence, the real meaning of me being a fucking monster because I'm certainly more of a monster than you.

Heck, I take more risks in and out of the ring than you do as well. You're going to retire and be only a champion in wrestling. Me, I'm going to retire and be a champion not only in wrestling, but in the racing world especially NASCAR as well. I will retire and be remembered in more than just wrestling. You're only be remembered in wrestling.  I'm going to fuck you up so bad that you won't be left standing. You got to experience the true meaning of Burned In Blood and I've been more successful and memorable with me now than I ever did as that other dude. Tomorrow, you're in a world of pain because I'm in a pissed off mood and my pissed off mood isn't strictly to do with wrestling. You'll feel more pain than with anyone you've experienced with in your entire life and you will be bled and broken because I will show you the true meaning of violence. You're fucked Xander and that's all there is to it."